I'm pregnant

No two words have ever carried such weight in the history of humankind.
I've heard them twice. The first time I was young and a different person and it was a whole different ball game.

The second time was ten weeks ago.
So in five months time, I'm going to be a dad.
And I'm very very excited.

My whole life is about to change, and to be honest, I can't wait :)

There's a very minute part of me that is scared, but at the moment the excitement far outweighs any nerves.

So I guess this post is just a brief note to let you know that life is going well. I really can't commit to posting any more than once every month or two, but I will be back. If you want to keep coming back that would be great but unfortunately I can't commit to more at this stage.

Talk to you soon :)

Pics from the other side.

The Indonesian National Museum building. I couldn't take a picture of the main entrance because it was blocked by tour buses. Ugh.

Indonesia's National Monument - complete with a massive display in the basement underneath the monument portraying a particularly skewed version of the country's proud history.

Jakarta's version of riverside properties.

A massive replica of David covered in a blue-ish/purple print on the ground floor of a shopping centre. I don't know why.

An 80-year-old man who had been living and working on Indonesian fishing boats from the age of 12. These days he runs boat trips up and down the harbour.

Hi, I'm back

Hi!
Sorry I left you for a couple of weeks. I was away, you see. I was lucky enough to score a media junket to Jakarta and Bandung as part of a bid to promote the rest of Indonesia. You know, apart from that most cliched of holiday destinations, Bali.

It was an amazing trip and really opened my eyes to how lucky we are here in Australia.

I read a newspaper article while I was there about the president (SBY, who was recently re-elected) and his efforts at reducing poverty in the country. The article said that he had been relatively successful in reducing poverty because by the end of his first four years, he had reduced the amount of people living under the poverty line by 4 million.

Sounds fantastic, doesn't it? Except when put into the context of the total population living in poverty at the time. He reduced it from 36 million to 32 million. 32 million people living in poverty. And by poverty I do mean poverty.
That's about one and a half times the population of our entire country.

With this in mind, I have to say I can completely understand the reaction by an Indonesian district governor not to accept the Australian customs boat carrying refugees that were originally headed for Australia.
These guys have enough problems feeding and looking after their own people as it is. And we're a country with a relatively tiny population and a massive amount of land around us.

I've got to say I'm a bit disappointed that Mr Rudd seems to be trying to find his own Pacific Solution simply because the panic merchants are trying to tell us that we're getting swamped. He is a Labor Prime Minister and he has a responsibility to educate the public on some of the myths surrounding asylum seekers.
I'm sure he's probably a bit nervous considering Howard won an election on the back of the Children Overboard scandal, but he needs to take a stand. And not the sort of stand he's taking now.

The Definition of Hell

...is arriving at the gym at 6am only to discover you've left your iPod at home and you are to be subjected to an hour and a half of commercial breakfast radio. Ugh.

Gotta watch that black magic

It is with a heavy heart that this morning I opened my email inbox to receive the latest "press release" (read - offensive, fanatical diatribe) from Catch the Fire Ministries based over east.

It started out with a mildly interesting claim that the remains of a black (satanic) altar were found near Canberra and that the head pastor believed "dark forces were at work against the Government and the nation." Some might say dark forces were already at work inside Parliament House - has anyone noticed how grey Malcolm Turnbull's hair has become lately?

So the guy organised a mass Christian prayer session. As you do.
There's a little bit more that's mildly interesting (you know, in the way that a spider spinning a web around a fly is mildly interesting) about this black altar being a possible cause of the Black Sunday bushfires (yawn) before I came across this:

"Our main reason for going to Mount Ainslie is to pull down the strongholds of the devil, to repent and pray against any evil done in our land including the adverse affects of witchcraft, homosexuality and of course the devastation of abortion, so that God will save our land,” Pastor Daniel said."

Ummm, hold on. Homosexuality and abortion? What the fuck has that got to do with the price of eggs??

This sort of thing really upsets me. Perhaps it shouldn't. Perhaps I shouldn't let it. Perhaps I'm giving it too much credence by even writing about it now. One can only hope that the news outlets receiving these "press releases" are doing the same thing I'm doing. Hitting the delete button.

Those people

I used to blog, once upon a time, in an office far, far away, about a courier driver (CD) who used to frequent said office.

This CD used to annoy me endlessly with bad jokes, racist observations and generally bigoted points of view.

That was, until I moved offices. He now frequents my office on a daily basis and this morning he came up with a pearler when talking about a Zimbabwean-born journalist that recently began working for us.

CD: "He's a really nice guy."

Me: "Mm-hmm."

CD: "He's really well educated."

*At this point I am reminded of a Boston Legal episode in which William Shatner's character told Jaleel White's character that he was "Very well-educated. You know, for someone like yourself."*

Me: ...

CD: "You know, I really like it when those people (that's right, he said 'those people') get out of their home country, get a good education somewhere else and do well for themselves. Then, eventually, they can go back to their countries and make it a better place."

Me: "Um, yeah. Talk to you later."

Take a number

As someone who works for a community newspaper, local government elections are always a mixed bag.
On the one hand they are a rich vein of news for a month or two - on the other hand every man and his dog crawls out of the woodwork to either nominate, defam a candidate or just bitch about how politicians never keep their promises.
Local government elections always seem to be that much nastier than State or Federal elections for some reason.

Today I had the mayor of one of my local governments come in and tell me he thought my paper had an agenda against him. Not only that, but he thought it had had an agenda against him for the past ten years. Which is ridiculous considering a) there's been about five different editors in that time and b) I don't care enough about this guy to have any sort of agenda against him.

It was the first time I'd spoken to the guy, he'd made no attempt to contact me beforehand and to top it all off he kept talking over the top of me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm always open to constructive criticism but the guy's a dick. I'm praying he doesn't win the election. But in the meantime I'll just keep putting out the fairest, least biased paper possible. Cockhead.

Everyone's entitled to their opinion

In my job I get letters regarding a range of issues.
I think it's safe to say roughly half of them are unprintable. The unprintable ones range from bigoted, fear-mongering seniors to locals with a vested interest in taking down a particular council.
I rarely read letters sections in papers, mainly because there are so many views in there that are either offensive or just plain wrong. But everyone's entitled to their opinion.
Which is why I wanted to share this one with you. I find these sort of people the most interesting. They are convinced the world is against them and it's all a conspiracy. Oh, and it's usually the Government's fault:

Want your internet access 87% slower? Want to pay more? Want a “Nanny” state with a top secret list of “Prohibited” material not subject to appeal by anyone? Want over 8% of “Allowed” sites accidentally blocked? Want paedophiles and other perverts to flout the rules with ease? Want a net filtering system more draconian than even Saudi Arabia, Iran and China, and used by no other democracy in the World? Then welcome to 21st century communications in Australia, Rudd and Conroy style. Find out the latest info at getup.org.au/campaign/SaveTheNet

From: Mrs. Kim Bax, Cedar Vale, Qld


Nice one Kim. Lucky we've got people like you to alert the general population to what's really going on.

Muse - The Resistance

There is only one word I can use to accurately describe the scope of the new Muse album The Resistance: epic.

Muse have taken what they already do really well - grandiose, ambitious rock - and taken it to a whole new level.

From the opening Goldfrapp-esque groove of Uprising, the album paints a picture of an Orwellian world in which thoughts are controlled and the population is encouraged to fall in line behind a totalitarian authority.

With this idea in mind, The Resistance is a rock opera of sorts, and essentially a discussion on what is a very human tendency - to question authority.

The entire album is all about soaring guitars, anthemic choruses and with a dash of Freddie Mercury-style vocals in one or two of the songs for good measure.

I cannot recommend this album enough. If you're a Muse fan, why haven't you bought it already?

And if you're not a Muse fan, perhaps it's time you started to think about joining the resistance.

Four and a half stars.

Wanker of the Year Award

Really must go to Kanye West.
After this outburst at the MTV VMA Awards, the teensy little bit of respect I had for the man has evaporated.
How can someone be so rude and so arrogant to walk up onstage and shatter someone's moment like that?
His music's pretty shit too.
Rant over.

Quentin Tarantino is a genius

I watched the much-lauded Inglourious Basterds last night and it was really, really awesome.
Tarantino is the master of taking an age to build up tension in a scene to a level at which it is palpable before having the whole scene climax in a brutally violent fashion.
I loved it - I loved Brad Pitt in it, I loved the masterful storytelling and I loved the way he didn't let the facts get in the way of telling a damn good story.

If you can stomach the short, sharp bouts of violence (which include close-up shots of Nazi soldiers getting scalped and a scene where a guy's head is literally bashed in with a baseball bat) I couldn't recommend this film more.

Some Like it Hot II

Earlier this year I blogged about chilli and my extremely low tolerance to it.
What a difference six months makes.

I decided that my tolerance to chilli was too much of a hindrance to my dining experiences in general, and thought I'd try to wean myself onto it.
I started by using it in dishes at home. A chopped chilli here, a chopped chilli there.
But now I've gone to the opposite extreme. It's like a drug. I have to add chilli to everything. I can't get enough. And usually, unless it's chilli of the extremely-hot-blows-your-head-off variety, it's not hot enough.

I still can't quite believe the turnaround. It just goes to show you can train your taste buds to like something.

My next mission is brussel sprouts.

Okay that's a lie.

Fully sick

So after a three-day power holiday to Melbourne that started Friday, I have ensured the best possible start to my two weeks' leave by catching a cold.
Just to recap - finished work Thursday arvo, flew to Melbourne early Friday morning, had a cracking weekend, flew back home Sunday night, became really sick Monday morning.
I got a doctor's certificate so apparently I can make some of my annual leave sick leave instead but that doesn't change the fact that it' a hit way to start my fortnight off work :)

But I haven't let that stop me from enjoying my time off. I've been incredibly busy reading - I currently have three books on the go, and this is from someone who is loathe to read more than one book at a time. I've also been enjoying a new series on SBS called East West 101.

It's an Aussie cop drama set in Sydney but it's really well done and the first two episodes that I've watched have been simmering with a very real racial tension. It's on Tuesday nights at 8.30 I think and I'd highly recommend you check it out.

Other than that there's not much to report.
Talk to you soon.

Things I Love About Melbourne

1. The bars

2. The shops

3. Catching up with old friends

4. Trams

5. Various entertainment precincts.

The one thing I don't love about Melbourne

The weather

Thor: Movie of the Gods

Most of the readers of this site will have grown up watching comedian Tim Allen's sitcom Home Improvement back in the early to mid 90s.

Those who remember the show will remember the three brothers - the oldest of which was the mullet-sporting Zachery Ty Bryan (second from the left in the red shirt).

Anyway, after spending many a school afternoon watching him on TV he left my life for some time. I can't profess to be sad about it - he was just on TV one day and not the next.

But in the last two weeks and adult Zachery Ty Bryan has appeared before me in no less than two really bad movies.

Regular readers to this blog will know that I have a penchant for really, really bad movies occasionally - the idea being that sometimes movies can be so bad that they're enjoyable to watch.

The first movie I saw in which Zachery starred as a college jock/revhead (hell of a combination, right?) was Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.

Bad bad bad.

But the second, the one that really takes the cake, was the sci-fi/horror Thor: Hammer of the Gods.

That's right, young Zachery plays Thor.

It had everything - unnecessary gore, atrocious acting, mediocre special effects, duels between good friends over women - but the best part of it all was Zachary's appalling attempt at a Scandinavian accent. It was like the voice coaches worked with him for about two months and then just said "Fuck it. This is as good as it gets."

Think of a normal American accent with about one or two words a sentence slightly drawn out to make them sound foreign. It was an experience I'll never forget.

It's all been a bit glum around here lately, hasn't it?

So I decided to redecorate. I hope you like the new wallpaper. Please feel free to suggest changes to the colour scheme if you think something different would work better.

Before my last blog, I hadn't posted anything on here in about two months. Which is pretty poor, really.

I've also neglected to read my friend's blogs in that time - for those of you reading, I've caught up on the most recent ones at least.

I'm not sure if I have many readers out there anymore, but perhaps that's not such a bad thing.

I have a lot to say still and plan to pick up where I left off. In the meantime, take a look around, put your feet up, and feel free to comment in the topsy-turvy world that is Dave's Whirlpool.

Musings on death

Hi. It's been a while.

Sorry I haven't blogged in so long. To be honest I haven't had much to blog about.

But tonight I had news that my grandad passed away. This is the grandad who was married to the grandma of mine that passed away back in december last year.

When I went over for my grandma's funeral last year I was lucky enough to spend some time with my grandad. It was funny because the sort of stories he told me in that two week period were the sort of stories that would bore me to death if anyone else had told them to me. But because it was my Grandad and because I was there for my Grandma's funeral I hung on every word he said.

Even when we got out of the car at the funeral home to go to the viewing of my Grandma (at Purslowe Funeral Homes), he has a quirky historical tale to tell me:

"Did you know that the Purslowes were one of the pioneer families in Toowoomba?" he said. I didn't, but that didn't matter. I appreciated the fact that I was able to listen to my Grandad and spend that time with him.


My Grandad passed away this evening. He was an author, a World War II veteran, a historian, a gentleman and the sort of man I could only aspire to be.

The last time I saw my Grandad was at my grandma's funeral. I hugged him and told him I loved him "so much" - something I wouldn't previously have said to a grandparent.

"I'm very proud of you," he said.

That's enough to make me smile.

Even today.

Grammarocities

I have been known in the past to blog about examples of grammar terrorism from time to time.
It was only after one of my accused grammar terrorists themselves, a man who is now a State senator, googled his name and saw it on my list of grammar terrorists that I decided to retire the list.

All that having been said, I came across this brilliant website the other day called The Grammar Vandal.

The first story that came up made me laugh out loud at work, so I thought I'd share it with you.
Enjoy.


She got what she deserved.

What’s the worst thing that could happen to someone who uses bad grammar?
A low grade on a paper? A mocking post on this blog? A scolding from a nearby grammarian?

Oh, it could be worse. You could find yourself face to face with James Westfall and Dr. Kenneth Noisewater.
This is my new favorite entry on my new favorite Web site, fmylife.com:

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, “Your nuts!” She meant, “YOU’RE nuts.” I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence.

Okay. We know this guy isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Anyone knows you don’t send naked pictures to someone you barely know. And I’m going to assume that these two people are over the age of 18, because if not, that’s a different issue altogether. Assuming they both are above the age of consent,

That girl got exactly what she deserved.

She mixed up “your” and “you’re” and thus was blinded with an image of the least attractive part of the male anatomy, an image that will likely stick in her mind for quite a long time.
It’s kind of like shock therapy, don’t you think?

(And, for the record, I feel like I need to say this to clueless straight guys of the world: No girl in her right mind will ever ask you for a picture of your nuts if she wants to be turned on. ANY other body part is understandable — NEVER the nuts. If she does, that’s a red flag. She’ll probably be forwarding it to her friends and laughing at you.)

What do you think? Did this girl get what she deserved?

Warning: rant ahead

I'm going to wade into the trading hours debate just once and then leave it at that.
I know the arguments for and against. I used to work in an independent supermarket. All the small retailers say that they won't be able to compete.

But really, what it comes down to is that independent outlets will be forced to compete. They will be forced to charge reasonable prices for groceries and not the exorbitant, over-inflated prices they charge now.

The owners of the tiny little corner shop in my street (who I might add provide an invaluable service to the community) charge $4.75 for 2 litres of milk. That's nearly $5!! For 2 litres!!
Oh, and there are three Mercedes Benz cars regularly parked in the driveway of the adjoining house. Don't tell me they're doing it tough.

The owner of the Dewsons Supermarket I used to work at would rant and rave about how hard done by he would be if trading hours were deregulated. Yet he managed to scrape enough of a living each week to afford a two-storey mansion in a beachside suburb with a 40-foot boat parked out the front of his house. Cry me a river.

Independent supermarkets, Woolworths and Coles have co-existed side by side on the Eastern States for years with deregulated trading hours. What makes WA so different?

Missed opportunity for a cracking headline

Bail for driver who rammed horse

8th June 2009, 19:30 WST

A taxi driver accused of driving his taxi into a police horse and trying to ram a police station was released on $1000 bail in Perth Magistrate’s Court today.
Alen Deniro, who faces three counts of failing to stop and two of reckless driving, allegedly sounded his horn behind three mounted officers in Lake Street in the city early on Sunday, then allegedly nudged a horse before fleeing.
His car allegedly went to the wrong side of the road and he ignored orders to stop.
Mr Deniro allegedly sped through red lights and drove on the footpath outside Perth police station, tried to reverse and was arrested after a struggle.
The matter was adjourned to June 29.


Seriously. Crazy taxi driver? Last name Deniro?? Come ooooonn!!!

Allow me, if you will, to tell you a story.

It is a story of youth and coming of age, of broken promises and harsh injustices.

You see, when I was of school age my parents were fairly strict in terms of what I could and could not do. As far as parties went, I was not allowed to go to them unless mum had spoken to the supervising parent over the phone and had been assured there would be no alcohol at said party. Needless to say I went to very few parties (read: none).
So, when my Year 12 ball came up, I got quite excited. Briefly. You see, my parents told me that not only would I not be allowed to go to a pre-ball or after-ball party, but I was also not allowed to go in a limo to the ball.

The reason? Riding in a limo was growing up too fast.

Stupid reason, yeah? But whatever. I kicked up a fuss about it but to no avail. To my Dad's credit, he did hire me a very nice charter car to drive myself and my girlfriend to the ball. But the damage had been done. I wasn't allowed to "fit in" with the rest of my Year 12 classmates.

Anyway, the whole thing passed. I finished school, did well in my TEE and was subsequently allowed to do whatever the hell I wanted.
Then my younger sister had her ball. No such rule was imposed on her. Of course, my younger brother followed a couple of years later and he was allowed to drive in a limo, drink before and after, etc etc.

In the years since I have been trying to get my parents to admit they messed up on that one. Trying and failing. I don't want an apology, all I want is for them to say "Dave, we got that one wrong." Which is obvious, since they didn't continue the policy with my younger siblings.

What do you think, readers? Was I unfairly jibbed? Should my parents admit they stuffed that one up? Or should I just get over it? Join me next time for more tales from the Dave Side...

Cocaine

I watched this amazing show on ABC2 last night.
Alex James, the former Blur bass player, boasted once that he'd consumed $1million worth of cocaine. Subsequently, the president of Colombia wrote to him and asked him to visit his country so he could see first-hand the damage cocaine had done.

It was really full-on and really eye-opening at the same time. I would say a stand-out moment was the footage of the farmer turning the coca leaves into powder form to sell on to the distributors. He added cement and petrol to the leaves, along with a range of other chemicals, then dried out the sludge left over until it was all powdery. Gross.

Anyway I think BBC has posted pretty much the entire one-hour show on Youtube so you might be able to catch it on there.
Here's a short clip.




I would like to take this opportunity to remind Kate that I have her Alex James bio A Bit of a Blur sitting on my dresser at home, as it has done for a good year or two now. The fee for me returning it is a catch up drink sometime. Coincidentally, I also have Lindsay's Flight of the Conchordes CD. I'm not sure how long that's been in my possession...

Birthday wishes

I didn't want to say this before my birthday on the weekend, mainly because I might have sounded a bit silly, but there was one thing in particular that I wanted more than anything else.
To not have a cigarette.

You see, I finished my Champix prescription (the medication I took to quit smoking) mid-week last week and I entered a long weekend (and a birthday weekend) with no medicinal back-up to stop me feeling cravings.
I was worried that me being in party mode would mean me thinking "ah, what the hell" and having a cigarette at some point.

But I didn't. I went through a weekend during which I spent time with some friends with whom I used to smoke regularly. I also had a rather extended drinking session on Sunday, all of which (I thought) added up to me being in a position where I would most likely find myself with a lit cigarette in my hand.

But I didn't. I didn't even have a craving. Not at one point over the entire weekend did I look at someone having a cigarette and wish I could have one.
And now, for the first time in my life, I really feel like I have successfully quit smoking. And that makes me pretty happy.

By popular demand

Well, only one reader requested it actually but he was the onlyrespondent to the last post so I thought I'd better do as he said.
Yes, I've been a bit of a slack blogger lately. It took me a couple of weeks to get my shit together and actually sit down and write something, for no particular reason.
And, as is the case, having not touched this site for two weeks I've come back and written two posts in as many days.

I thought I'd just give you a quick update on where I'm at. I'm still not smoking. It's now been ten weeks since I gave up. Which is totally awesome, if I don't say so myself. I've got two more days left of the anti-smoking medication then I'm on my own, but I'm pretty confident that I've broken the habit this time around. Famous last words maybe but we'll see.

It's my birthday on Sunday, which is very exciting but what's more exciting is that fact that the soccer team I follow, Manchester United, is in the Champions League final in Rome tonight. This year has been an awesome one for United - they won the English Premier League and also won the Club World Cup. If they win tonight's match this means they are the best team in England, Europe and the world. Needless to say there will be festivities at our house until the early hours of the morning (the game starts at 3am).

And that's all I've got for the moment. Now that I'm back in the groove again I don't expect to leave it so long between posts. Again, famous last words...

What I've Been Listening To OR Did I Mention I love Music?

I used to put music reviews up here from time to time, but I haven't in quite a while. Part of me thinks it's a bit self-serving to post large reviews of CDs I've been listening to anyway, so I thought I'd post a few brief ones in one go.

Doves - Kingdom of Rust
This epic album has taken Doves to a whole new level. Fans of previous Doves albums will find enough hooks in here to keep them coming back, while new fans will find enough depth and originality to add this band as one of their favourites.
Four stars.

Razorlight - Slipway Fires
While this album doesn't have the instant appeal Razorlight's previous album did, it doesn't take long to grow on you. Unfortunately, it also doesn't take long to plateau out. Eventually I came to realise that I wanted this album to be as awesome as the last and in the end, apart from a couple of gems, it just wasn't.
Two and a half stars.

Little Birdy - Confetti
This album is a big step up for Little Birdy, particularly from the sleazy electronic sound that permeated their last LP. I really like this album, and that's coming from someone who really doesn't like Little Birdy. Gone are the electronic sounds and the album grooves with a hint of Mowtown. Check it out.
Three and a half stars.

Eminem - Relapse
See how I buried this one in the middle to try and maintain the illusion of credibility? I like this album, although it is nowhere near the peak of his earlier work. It's the closest since the last couple of albums and Relapse sees a return to form of sorts for Eminem. He is at his antagonistic best throughout the album and the songs in general just sound better than I expected.
Three stars.

Glasvegas - Glasvegas
There's something about these guys. The soaring guitar melodies combined with the distinct Scottish accent coming through with the vocals perhaps. This album is a great sing-a-long one and if I was to name one downfall, it would be that some of the songs start to blend into one another after a little while.
Three stars.

Stolen cars and contradictions

My parents' house was broken into the other day. Well, technically not broken into, rather the offenders walked in through the unlocked door, took the car keys and a mobile phone and stole the car.

It was the middle of the night and it just happened to be the one time a year when my parents had forgotten to lock the door. Which is odd, considering they usually have the door locked even when they're home. Everyone's okay, the car was recovered and three juveniles between the ages of 14 and 16 were arrested.

Dad's first reaction was anger. I can kind of understand where he's coming from - he said he'd worked hard all his life to get to the stage where he had enough money to buy a nice car like that and that they had no right to take it off him.

But then he started going down the racism track. He made the assumption that they were Aboriginal kids without any evidence whatsoever that they were. To be fair, in all likelihood this was probably true but I argued the point with him.

Can you imagine the sort of upbringing and family life these kids would have to have had in order to think it was okay to walk into someone's house at 2am and steal their car? I mean, they're kids for god's sake. Can you imagine the sort of place they would most likely go home to after a night out on the town stealing cars? Maybe I'm making assumptions here but I've got a lot of compassion for these kids. They didn't hurt anyone, the car's not badly damaged and their lives must be pretty shitty.

My sister got mugged by a group of Aboriginal girls when she was about 18 on the train. It completely destroyed the years of school education she had received in which she learnt about the history of the Aboriginal people, assimilation and the Stolen Generations. All it took for her to completely discard her pragmatic, compassionate view on race issues was one incident.

I've never been in that situation, but I would like to think if I ever was, I wouldn't let a solitary experience cloud my view of an entire race. It's easy to hide behind racism. And at the end of the day, if I was mugged by a Caucasian guy, I certainly wouldn't think all white people were trash. Because that would be silly.

Big Dave Out

So I had a day off work this week and I took the opportunity to go on an expedition around Perth in the early hours of the morning (I got up before dawn) and test out my new camera.

I did it with the idea of putting together a YouTube clip of some of the better pictures with some music overlaid.

After a couple of attempts I managed to make the pics into a video clip and upload it! I'm very excited - this is the first time I've uploaded anything onto YouTube and now I feel like a card-carrying member of Gen Y :)

Anyway I thought I'd post it here for you to take a look. It's pretty amateurish but bear in mind it's my first attempt at anything like this. The pics were taken in and around the CBD and represent a short collection of what I like most about Perth. I think it may have something to do with my stint in the country, but I do love this place. I love the city and I love the skyline.

Sucked in.

That's what you get for being a bigot.

You know someone (fate, God, whatever) is taking the piss when...

...the water pump in your car kicks the bucket 24 hours after said car spent the day at the mechanic's workshop.

To boldly laugh where no man has laughed before

I just got back from seeing the new Star Trek movie and can I say - it was sensational. I was going to go on about how it is a great prequel, about how Zachary Quinto and Simon Pegg just got cooler (if that's possible) and about how it appeals to Trekkies and non-Trekkies alike but...

...but instead I'm going to write about the tosser that was sitting next to me.

When we got there we sat in the row with two seats separating me from the nearest stranger, as I often like to sit at the movies. He made some comment about him not biting or smelling so if we wanted to move up we could. I laughed politely and then decided that since it was a preview and it would most likely be packed out, it would be wise to move up.

That was a decision I would live to regret.

The guy proceeded to laugh wildly throughout most of the movie - I mean, he was literally slapping his leg. Which would be okay if we were at the latest Ben Stiller film. But we weren't. It went a little like this:

Scene: Bad guy gets killed.

Reaction: Raucous laughter.

Scene: Vicious alien attacks character.

Reaction: Raucous laughter.

Scene: Character comes close to dying but is saved at the last moment.

Reaction: Raucous laughter.

Luckily the movie was good enough to drown him out for the most part. I'd definitely recommend watching it - as long as you leave yourself a seat or two between the nearest stranger.

Now THIS email's speaking my language...

I'm still giggling at this one I received this morning. And in case you're wondering, I am most definitely signing up :)

Hello Dave,

As you will already be aware, Daves are the backbone of this nation.
From Dave the second King of Israel (who defeated Goliath) to Dave Hasslehoff (who brought the world Baywatch) throughout history, the contribution of Dave has been vital to mankind.

It is only right that this mammoth effort is recognised and celebrated – so we are set to petition government to launch a public holiday in honour of all Daves.
We need your help to make the dream of Dave Day a reality.

Through our Facebook group we hope to bring together such a clamour of voices that we can’t possibly be ignored.

Earn the righteous name Dave by:

• Joining our facebook group ‘Dave Day –Together Daves can make it happen!’ - to watch videos, download campaign posters and badges etc and to tell us exactly why you believe there should be a national Dave day.
• Change your profile on social media sites (Twitter, Facebook, etc.) for the rest of the week to encourage other Dave’s to join the campaign.
• Blog, Twitter, and email people about it. Do your bit and together we’ll make Dave Day happen.

Join us at- http://tinyurl.com/comjv9

Regards,

David Davidson

Received via email this week

So far I've received ten emails this week from a crazy woman who, for all intents and purposes, seems to have been named the new suburb manager for Neighbourhood Watch in her area.
I'm quite certain English is her second language and even then, it's a bit of a push to say that she's mastered the basics of it. Add to that her insistence on using capital letters and it's always quite a funny read - if you can decipher it.

But the best email by far that I have received from her seems to be proposing to shut down an entire suburb for "refurbishments." I'm not sure what refurbishments she had in mind, nor why it was necessary to shut down an entire suburb for them, but it's an interesting proposition. I've included a sample below of one of her emails, reproduced in its original form. Enjoy.

IT WAS SUCH BUSSY PLACE @ MY HOUSE EITHER; I APOLOGISE FOR MISSPELL OF YOUR 1ST NAME; I READ THOROUGHLY YOURS EMAIL CRIME REPORT1; 1ST THING IN THE MORNING I WILL BRING YOU YOURS NHW SAFETY\SECURITY KIT & THE RECRUITMENT FORM TO YOIN NHW AS YOURS STREET\SECTION OF HWY CO-ORDINATOR ~ IF YOU ACCEPTED THIS OFFER: TO BE 1 OF NHW OWN I WILL CUT YOU YOURS INTERIM NHW BADGE ON THE SITE & EXPLAIN TO YOU MORE DETAILS ON YOURS BADGE DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES IN OUR COMMUNITY OF THE SUBURB OF NORTH FREMANTLE ~ NORTH PORTH FREMANTLE EG. YESTERDAY I PATROLED "J" STREET I EVEN COULDNT LOCATE; QUITE "JENNY" WHO SUFFERED SAME FATE AS YOU MYMICHAEL; THINKING AGAIN,; N PORT FREMANTLE MUST BE CLOSED TOTALLY FOR THAT\OUR BIG MEETING REFURBISHMENTS ; THUS I AM SENDING THIS EMAIL TO OUR SGT MCCORMICK TOO ~ NHW MUST\WILL BE IN YOURS SERVICE MICHAEL1 ; ENTIRE NORTH PORT FREMANTLE ~ SUBURB OF NORTH FREMANTLE IBID. I AND BAILEY ~ NHW1 POOCH MADE SO MANY FRIENDS EVEN @ THE CITY OF COTTESLOE1


Seriously.

By Dave and his Whirlpool

My housemate began some writing of sorts for a local magazine the other day. The magazine, called Whingeing Pom, is produced here in Perth for English ex-pats.

Desh, being a chef (and being English) was asked to contribute a couple of traditional English recipse for the food section.
Anyway, he received a copy of it the other day. It was his first published work and the look on his face when he opened up the magazine and saw his name in print was akin to the look a child gets when they open that first Christmas present and it's exactly what they wanted.

It reminded me of how I felt the first time I saw my name in print. I remember the day disticntly - our uni class had an exhibition to the Perth Institute of Contemporary Arts and one of the lecturers had grabbed a bundle of our first edition of the uni paper to hand out when we left the building.

The story itself was unremarkable, but the swell of pride I got when I saw my name in front of me in a published newspaper was pretty cool.
Seeing Desh the other day made me wonder why we feel that way when we see our name in print. Sure, the novelty has worn off a little after seeing it in the paper every week for a period of years, but it's still pretty cool. Why? Lots of people do much better work around the world with less recognition than that. It's not like I'm changing the world in a drastic way.
I put it down to it having something to do with the idea that I'm leaving my mark in the world.
I don't know whether it's a good or a bad thing but I know that seeing your name in a newspaper at the top of a good story feeds the ego pretty well...

Red Tulip

I'm sitting here chomping through one of those Red Tulip chocolate bunnies. It's not quite 11am and I've almost finished the thing.

I'm not sure what it is about Easter but to me, it's one of the only times of the year when eating chocolate before - nay, for - breakfast is acceptable.

I don't care what eggs I receive as long as I get one of those chocolate bunnies. I'm not sure why they appeal to me so much but it's something about munching the ears off and then working my way down that I enjoy.

Kate blogged about it already and I have to agree. There's something about Easter that is totally awesome. I don't know what it is or why it is. Maybe it's something to do with the four day long weekend. All I know is that I'm off to my parents' now for a nice family lunch (without the extended family) and I feel sick because that rabbit I was chomping on when I started writing this post is now gone.

Black Holes and Revelations

This week has been positively crazy.
The powers that be at my work decided my branch would be singled out for the second stage of an editorial revamp this week. Apparently the powers that be didn't remember it was an extra short week because of Easter and as such, we had three days to do something in which we would normally have five.
So I was a bit stressed out this week. Which is unlike me. I don't normally do stress. But it's all good, and the papers are done and we can all go home happy. For four days.

Why am I telling you this? I guess because I feel a little bit guilty that I posted below on how I haven't posted in ages and it's all about me and then I go and do something like don't post for a week. But it's not you, it's me. Really.

Anyway I have to tell you all about this awesomely funny new site I was introduced to the other day. It's called spEak You're branes and is a collection of the best (worst) comments from the Have Your Say site at the BBC. For anyone who has ever been frustrated, upset, or made to feel dumber by people posting stupid comments on stories online, this is the site for you. Not only does it show the comments but then it comments on the comments with razor sharp wit and lashings of sarcasm. Genius.

Hi there. How've you been?

Sorry I haven't blogged much of late. To tell you the truth, I've been pretty self-involved over the past couple of weeks.
What with some big changes happening at work, relationship stuff and me quitting smoking (regular readers of this blog will know that me quitting smoking happens about twice a year) I have neglected a few important things in my life.

I've missed friends' birthdays, not read anyone's blogs and skipped goodbye drinks. But I think I've sort of emerged from it all now. Don't get me wrong, I've been okay, I haven't been depressed or anything, I've just been dealing with stuff.

Having said all that, I am no longer a smoker. I'm pretty sure I've said that before on this blog only to be a smoker days later so allow me to explain. I've been taking this new anti-smoking medication called Champix. You get it on prescription and it's a 12 week course. It does two things: blocks the receptor in your brain that makes you feel the nicotine rush or head spin and stops you from feeling cravings.
I actually quit two and a half weeks ago, but I've been a bit hesitant to blog about it until I'd gone through a couple of weekends because I've blogged loud and clear in the past about quitting, only to fail miserably a short time after.
Sooo after the initial hacking period during which the mucus that came out of my chest resembled some kind of bad Aboriginal art piece, I am feeling pretty fantastic right now. My wallet is also sharing the elation. So right now it's all good :)
Anyway you'll have to excuse me. I have a week's worth of blogs to catch up on.

I was going to blog about how much of a dick Steve Fielding is

...but this blog says it all really.

Seriously...

I refer to my post from Saturday.
This is also not news.

So...

I wanted to have a little rant about all the fuss in WA over assaulting police officers.
Firstly, for those of you not in the know, three men were acquitted last week of various charges stemming from a pub brawl in Joondalup (I think I mentioned something about not going to northern suburbs pubs in an earlier post - case in point).
The brawl left a police officer paralysed down one side of his body.

Without going into the specifics of the case - which I don't know anyway - the men were all acquitted. This led to a massive public outcry, including a rally on the steps of Parliament.

The problem I have with this is that the mob mentality seems to be "if they're charged, throw them in jail." We need to respect the justice system and let it do its job. There wouldn't have been many people at that rally who sat in on the entire court case, heard all the ins and outs and understood why the jurors decided to acquit the men. That's the beauty of the system. We're meant to be innocent until proven guilty. Not the other way round.

This rally was quickly followed by WA politicians passing mandatory sentencing for those convicted of assaulting police officers, paramdeics and public transport security officers.
Which is great. I don't think it's such a bad thing really. But "the mob" were instantly appeased, going by the calls made to talkback radio this morning.

And this leads me to my final point. Even if those laws had been in place before this trial they wouldn't have made the slightest difference. Because the three men were acquitted and the legislation covers people who are convicted.
The mob mentality really frustrates me sometimes.

Just a thought

I was a little disheartened to see that changes to the Facebook home and profile pages were deemed to be one of the most important news items on news.com.au today. I mean, seriously.
The article was pretty long too, and included a list of the exact changes to the site. Was it that slow a news day??

Just your light-hearted Friday rant

I was about to blog the other day on how much I love the job Barack Obama is doing at the moment.
I mean, sure we all expected him to try and fix some of George Bush's wrongs, but I for one didn't expect him to cut a swathe through some of them so soon.
One that caught my eye in particular was, in essence, a lifting of a ban Bush imposed on foreign aid going to clinics that perform abortions.
Kevin Rudd, to his credit, seems to be swiftly following suit.

And so it is with a slight sense of satisfaction that I open my work email the other day to find a press release from the Catholic Church crying foul.
Now, I've said this on here before, but I'm catholic. I was baptised, went to catholic schools my whole life and therefore identify as catholic. However that's pretty much where it ends for me. I disagree with many of the tenets of the catholic religion regarding birth control, sex before marriage, homosexuality and - you guessed it - abortion.

Now, people have very strong ideas as to whether abortion is right or wrong. I'm not really going to go into discussing the specifics, other than to say I have been through the process myself with a girlfriend at the time who fell pregnant.
To this day it was one of the most trying three hours of my life.
Since the experience I have not wavered in my stance that it is a woman's right to choose what she does with her body. But let me just say to the knobheads that put out this press release from the catholic church that there was not one person in that waiting room - mother, daughter, boyfriend, girlfriend - who did not completely understand the severity of the situation.

I have never been in a room filled with so much pain and angst. Boyfriends chain smoking outside (I was one of them), mothers crying and consoling their tearful daughters. It was horrible. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. But at the same time I don't regret making the decision that was made. I would be a very different person today if I had not been allowed to make that decision. I might not be in the job I'm in right now, I certainly wouldn't have the freedom I do right now and financial security would be a very vague term I'm sure.

I'm not trying to tell you guys what's right and wrong. You can make your own decision up on that, and because it's your opinion it will be neither right nor wrong. But I won't sit here and let the catholic church tell me my opinion is wrong. Ever.

Just so you know

I am having an extremely hard time motivating myself to do anything today.
And it's one of the busiest days of the week.
Entertain me with comments.

Overheard at a northern suburbs pub

Random bogan: "Just because I don't like gay guys doesn't mean I'm homophobic..."


I know, I know. Serves me right for going to a northern suburbs pub.

More stuff

Personal behaviour during a relationship and personal behaviour during a break up are two very different things. A large part of a relationship is about being selfless, but when it comes to the break-up you have to be selfish. It kinda sucks. Why can't it be the other way around?

There's no such thing as an easy break-up. There's certainly no such thing as a fun break-up. Think about it. For however many months or years you spend with the person, you are getting to know them intimately. You know how they feel about certain people, places and objects and they become your best friend.
All of a sudden you split and you've lost your best friend. Gone. The person you spent the past however long with talking about your day and how it went and who you like and who you hate at work is gone.
Sometimes your head tries to tell you that it's for the best. That a fresh start is a positive thing. And it is. But the heart doesn't always want to listen. And that's what sucks.

I have a secret to confess.

I have an alter ego.
And he's a superstar.
He's a world famous DJ called DJ DeeJay - and he pretty much created dance music.
I've even created a Facebook fan page for this mythical artist.
It's true - anyone with Facebook should do a page search for DJ DeeJay and become a fan - I've got 20-odd fans at the moment, the more the merrier.

There's a few funny things to point out about this little delusion I have.
Firstly, I do actually know the basics of DJing. A dear friend of mine once taught me how to - I even had my own half hour set put together. Unfortuntely I'm not quite good enough to command thousands of people at a summer festival, but maybe one day.

Secondly, do you have any idea how easy it is to get publicity for someone who doesn't exist in today's media hungry world?
I've had a mention on radio already - one of my work friends rang a friend of hers who was on the mike at an independent radio station one day who, during a break between songs, said "...and a big shout out to DJ DeeJay, keeping it real..."

The same friend is a contributor to our local street press. When asked at the end of last year to include her top five dance albums of the year, at number five she submitted "DJ DeeJay - Smashing the Awkwardness."

So, essentially, my alter ego who doesn't exist has had a mention in local print and radio.

The same friend from work has recently got a brand new Apple Mac. She, unlike me is a real DJ. So the point of my story is that, sometime in the next month or two, we're going to start putting together some actual tracks under the moniker DJ DeeJay vs DJ Lara H.
It's going to be awesome.
I'm so very excited :)

Stuff

I haven't blogged in a few days because I haven't quite known how to put into words what I'm feeling at the moment.
Without going into specifics, I've had a pretty crappy couple of weeks.
I've always been a believer in the idea that everything happens for a reason. I strongly believe that my life is mapped out for me. Fate, God, whatever force it is pulling the strings, has my life plans written down in a little black book somewhere.

I wouldn't mind taking a look at that book someday. I know there's a silver lining to every crowd and all, there's just times when I wouldn't mind knowing what is going to happen. Did I make the right decision? Should I have done things differently?

I blogged a couple of weeks ago about how I don't do regret. Well, I'm living proof that things change. I'm not saying I'm regretting anything right now, but I'm fearful that decisions I make at the moment will make me regretful later in life. No regrets. It's easier to say with the benefit of hindsight.

For the moment, I'm just taking life a day at a time. I always feel it's easier to throw myself into work when I've got other stuff on my mind. You should see the amount of work I've gotten out of the way this week already...

Some like it hot.

But I sure as hell don't.
So I went to a very nice little Indonesian restaurant in Mt Lawley last night. I can't for the life of me remember the name but it was in a quiet suburban street surrounded by houses.
After choosing the dish I wanted I ordered - taking great care to pronounce the name correctly. Or so I thought.
The owner told me I needed glasses.
Anyway, that's by the by.
It was a lamb dish - bite-size pieces of lamb tossed through a cucumber, tomato, been shoot and green salad with a spicy sauce and some chopped fresh chilli.

Every time I try something with chilli I think that maybe this time it'll be different. Maybe this time it won't blow my head off and reduce me to tears.
It wasn't different. I nearly cried. Meanwhile, the lovely Phynea has ordered a rendang curry (of the 'burn your oesophagus' variety) and proceeded to sit there and tell me how hot it was through massive gulps of water.

I don't get it. Why do people enjoy the pain of chilli? For me, eating should be a pleasurable experience. Not one that leaves you red-faced, in tears, and throughly regretting it the next day.

My only regret is locking my keys inside the house the other day

Life is a funny thing, isn't it?
I've always been of the opinion that everything happens for a reason. I've made some mistakes in my past, but as a general rule I've learnt from them and become a better person.
I think mistakes are character building. A mate of mine was telling me tonight about his biggest regret in life. He grew up in the UK and his dad died when he was at college at the age of 20.
He basically couldn't deal with everything that was going on at the time and bailed to Australia for a year.
He said his biggest regret was leaving the rest of his family behind to deal with it while he ran.
I don't do regret. It's not healthy. Everyone makes mistakes in their lives. Everyone has a few things they might have done differently at the time. But those things make us who we are today. I wouldn't be the person I am now if I hadn't stuffed up a few times and wanted to do a few things differently.
But there's no point worrying about things that have happened in the past. There really is nothing you can do to change it.

I should donate the proceeds from my blog

I'm trying really hard not to be cynical about the massive amount of fundraising that is going on at the moment for the horrific bushfires in Victoria.

I think, on the whole, people have the right idea and they mostly have the best intentions. I mean, any fundraising is good fundraising, right?
I guess for me, sifting through press releases for a newspaper, it gets a bit tiresome after finding out that every single business is doing one thing or another - mainly because I can't shake the feeling that they've got their caps out for a bit of publicity at the same time.

I received a press release last week saying a local beauty therapist would donate "some" of the money from every Brazilian wax she does to the bushfire victims. I have a few issues with something like this. Firstly, it seems to be trivialising the whole issue a tad. Secondly, she's only sending some of the money. And thirdly, in order for people to donate this way, they have to be thinking about their own self interest first.

But then I received one from a local dentist saying they would donate all the surgery proceeds from an entire day to the Red Cross. The dental surgery asked not to be named in the article, saying "it is not intended to promote ourselves but to generate interest for the charity event."
Good on 'em, I say. If it turns out I need a tooth pulled on February 21 I know where I'll be going...

I'll tell you about grief

I love theatre. I love musical theatre. Heck, I even love most forms of dance. I love going to the art gallery and I most certainly love to read.
I went to see a play last night, which will remain nameless, adapted from a book by renowned writer Joan Didion that explores the grief she goes through after losing her husband and daughter within a year of each other.

I'm thinking of looking into whether I can sue the theatre company for those two hours of my life back.
A two hour monologue was what it was. Now don't get me wrong, I quite like monologues, and the actress must be very talented to memorise two hours of words in one go. But it was like going to a book reading. Without the book. No scene changes, no other actors, nothing but a women talking about dealing with grief. It could have been good if it was an hour long. It could have been great if it explored the writer's raw emotions a little more. It could have been brilliant if it wasn't so self indulgent.
But it was none of these things.

A Complete History of My Sexual Failures

Awesome name for a movie, huh?
I went and saw this independent flick at Luna Outdoor Cinemas last night and thoroughly enjoyed it.
The premise is this - filmmaker Chris Waitt is single after a long line of broken relationships and sets about interviewing as many of his previous ex-girlfriends as he can. Which isn't many really.


It's a funny premise and a funny film. Once you start to watch it, you realise why Waitt has had so much trouble with successful relationships - he's a bit of a knob and, well, just plain weird.
But the movie does provide a lot of laughs - not least of which when he tries out S and M in an attempt to cure his impotence problems.

Apart from all that, it is a great study in the emotions involved in relationships. The ex-girlfriends Waitt talks to have a hard time revisiting the past - particularly if their memories of the relationship were less than great.
It made me think a bit about relationships. At the time, you might not realise it, but you're investing a hell of a lot of emotional energy into a relationship. If things go bad, feelings are trampled and there's not a hell of a lot anyone can do about it. But then, what's the alternative?

Anyway, the movie had a nice ending. It was good. Go see it.

This just in

Slip n slide soccer

Q. What's worse than playing indoor five-a-side soccer at 10pm at night on a Monday?
A. Playing it in 38 degree heat.

Seriously, it was horrific. I felt like I'd taken three baths by the time I'd finished. I must say though, I'm quite enjoying the opportunity to play team sports again. Not having played any team sports since I left school, I'm enjoying the opportunity to get out and increase my fitness levels on a regular basis. And I'm getting better as I go along too! Shame about the oppressive heat and late nights. Ah, the woes of a professional athlete...

Here we go again

It is with a slight sense of rage that I read this news about the State Liberal Government's plans for WA.
Not content with repealing prostitution laws designed to offer more protection for sex workers, the right wing knobs have decided that WA does not need to subscribe to the new Federal industrial relations regime.

As I write this, I'm still having trouble coming to terms with the fact that Troy Buswell is actually on the front bench of our Government after sniffing chairs and snapping bras for most of his time in opposition.

But apart from all that, what gives them the right to say that WA does not need to subscribe to laws brought on by the Federal Government with an overhwelming mandate?

Buswell's arrogance shines through particularly when he is questioned by a senate committee about whether or not WA would abide by the proposed Fair Work Bill:

"It's our view that ... (employees and employers should) arrange their affairs to have flexibility as they see fit,'' Mr Buswell said.

"You don't have to take the job, at the end of the day.''


You don't have to take the job at the end of the day. Thanks for that, Troy. Wanker.

I am. You are. We are...

What is Australia Day all about? Really?
To many people, it's about sticking stupid plastic Australian flags to your car windows. I would never buy one of those flags. As I write this, there is a car sitting out the front of my house with no less than 11 of those silly flag sticking out its windows. 11! What a knob. To me, the people that stick those flags on their cars are the same people that would have been involved in the shameful Cronulla race riots from a few years ago. I don't feel the need to put a flag on my car to prove how Australian I am.

To me, Australia Day is about celebrating with friends, a bbq, a few beers and listening to the Hottest 100.

To others, Australia Day may be about this sort of thing.

I guess it's open to interpretation.

What's your interpretation, dear readers?

Rachel Getting Married

Rachel Getting Married is the latest movie directed by Jonathon Demme, whose resume includes a couple of small pics like Silence of the Lambs and Philadelphia.

Starring Anne Hathaway, from more dubious movies such as The Princess Diaries and Bride Wars, this flick is a close up look at addiction, recovery and dysfunctional families.

I saw this movie this morning and I have to say, it was really good. It's done with a hand held camera, which I always find takes up to an hour to get used to but is ultimately rewarding in the end.
Let me just say from the outset - Hathaway is brilliant as Kim, a drug addict who has been in and out of prison and rehab for the last ten years, and returns home for her sister's wedding.
Without going too much into the plot, the movie is a great study on how addictions can affect a family unit.
If you get the chance, and you like a movie that makes you think, see it.

So many things

Hi all,
Sorry about my slack blogging efforts lately.
The truth is, I've found it hard to inspire myself to blog about anything. I think it's something to do with the fact that I had nearly four weeks holiday and got into the habit of being lazy during that time.
There have been many things over the past few weeks that I thought I would like to blog about. I wanted to blog about Obama. I wanted to blog about an amazing exhibition I saw at the WA Art Gallery by an artist called Gordon Bennett (anyone who lives in Perth and is interested in Aboriginal issues must see this exhibition before it closes). I wanted to blog about two albums that have inspired me over the summer months (Apocalypso by the Presets and the new Kings of Leon album - both are brilliant and come highly recommended). I wanted to blog about racism. I wanted to blog about returning to work after a long holiday. But in the end, what inspired me to blog again was a notepad getting destroyed all over my clothes (read below).

Anyway, the long and short of it is I'm back. I'm in a great mood today and, as ridiculous as it sounds, blogging about my load of washing has inspired me to stick with this blog.
If there's any readers left, thanks for coming back. I'll be better this time round. Promise.

Ever found a tissue in your load of washing - after the washing's been done?

Pretty annoying, huh?

Ever found an entire notepad in your load of washing - after the washing's been done?

If you're thinking it would be substantially more annoying than a single tissue - you'd be spot on.

Observations from a trip to the casino

• There are people out there who think that writing the numbers down as they come up on the roulette table will form some sort of pattern to help them win. These people are usually the ones that never win.
• The people in the poker rooms at the casino take the whole thing waaaay too seriously. I don't think too badly of myself as a poker player on a casual basis - but these people scare me.
• The bright lights and higher oxygen levels in the casino make me feel like I could stay up for days.
• Thank god we don't have pokies in pubs here in WA.

Tales from the north side

On Christmas Day, we had a few friends around for drinks.
My housemate Cookie, who currently works in the mines but has done pretty much everything - from rigging, to deep sea diving, to working on a fishing trawler - invited one of his mates from Karratha down.
Frosty was a fishing trawler captain and he proceeded to tell me one of the cooler stories I have ever heard in my life.

He was working on a trawler off Exmouth and had been out for three days of a four day fishing expedition. Frosty explained that guys (and girls) who work on fishing trawlers don't get paid a salary, they get paid a commission depending on how much fish they catch. He said two tonnes was a good catch in general terms. Anyway, they were on the second last day of their trip and they only had 100kgs so far.

Frosty had tried everything - he had gone to every secret fishing spot he had ever known, tried every old fisherman's trick in the book but still, there were no fish anywhere.
He studies the maps for hours, still coming up with nothing. Then, he looks up out the window and sees a rainbow on the horizon. So, on a whim, he programs where he calculates the end of the rainbow to be and sets course for it, thinking he's got nothing to lose.

Of course, his crewmates thought he'd gone mad, and proceeded to wind him up with jeers of "chasing the rainbow, are we Frosty?" all the way there.
When they were about three quarters of the way to the spot Frosty had estimated, he almost turned back. But he pushed on, because he had nothing to lose.

When he gets to the spot that he had put into the computer, a massive triangle of fish appears on the radar - right at the spot where he calculated the rainbow ended. He ended up filling the boat with high quality fish. But that's not the clincher - the bit that makes this story so awesome is the type of fish he found at the end of the rainbow - gold band snapper. They could have been any species of fish in the world, and they were gold band snapper.

I asked him what the moral of the story was. He told me there was a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow - you just had to look hard for it.

Hi all,
Sorry I haven't been a reliable blogger of late. I've been good, it's just been a busy time of year as I'm no doubt you're all aware :)
I had a lovely festive season and new year, some of which has inspired me to blog.
I love the new year. New Year's Eve provides people with the opportunity to start afresh. I know it sounds like wank but think about it. The clock ticks over and then the calendar starts again from the beginning. People make resolutions to try and better themselves in certain ways. The festive season even provides people who have fallen out with others the opportunity to resolve their differences "because it's Christmas" or "because it's new years."
I enjoyed my festive season and, I think because of the events leading up to it, I appreciated a few of the things I usually take for granted.

Anyway I'm back blogging now and I promise I will be more of an active writer in the new year. That's my resolution :)
Dave

PS Oh, and I just wanted to add that this whole Israel/Palestine situation is the scariest situation we've faced in world politics for some time. What makes it scarier is stories like this and the US response to it all.

PPS In 16 days' time, George Bush will no longer be the president of the US. How awesome.