So far I've received ten emails this week from a crazy woman who, for all intents and purposes, seems to have been named the new suburb manager for Neighbourhood Watch in her area.
I'm quite certain English is her second language and even then, it's a bit of a push to say that she's mastered the basics of it. Add to that her insistence on using capital letters and it's always quite a funny read - if you can decipher it.
But the best email by far that I have received from her seems to be proposing to shut down an entire suburb for "refurbishments." I'm not sure what refurbishments she had in mind, nor why it was necessary to shut down an entire suburb for them, but it's an interesting proposition. I've included a sample below of one of her emails, reproduced in its original form. Enjoy.
IT WAS SUCH BUSSY PLACE @ MY HOUSE EITHER; I APOLOGISE FOR MISSPELL OF YOUR 1ST NAME; I READ THOROUGHLY YOURS EMAIL CRIME REPORT1; 1ST THING IN THE MORNING I WILL BRING YOU YOURS NHW SAFETY\SECURITY KIT & THE RECRUITMENT FORM TO YOIN NHW AS YOURS STREET\SECTION OF HWY CO-ORDINATOR ~ IF YOU ACCEPTED THIS OFFER: TO BE 1 OF NHW OWN I WILL CUT YOU YOURS INTERIM NHW BADGE ON THE SITE & EXPLAIN TO YOU MORE DETAILS ON YOURS BADGE DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES IN OUR COMMUNITY OF THE SUBURB OF NORTH FREMANTLE ~ NORTH PORTH FREMANTLE EG. YESTERDAY I PATROLED "J" STREET I EVEN COULDNT LOCATE; QUITE "JENNY" WHO SUFFERED SAME FATE AS YOU MYMICHAEL; THINKING AGAIN,; N PORT FREMANTLE MUST BE CLOSED TOTALLY FOR THAT\OUR BIG MEETING REFURBISHMENTS ; THUS I AM SENDING THIS EMAIL TO OUR SGT MCCORMICK TOO ~ NHW MUST\WILL BE IN YOURS SERVICE MICHAEL1 ; ENTIRE NORTH PORT FREMANTLE ~ SUBURB OF NORTH FREMANTLE IBID. I AND BAILEY ~ NHW1 POOCH MADE SO MANY FRIENDS EVEN @ THE CITY OF COTTESLOE1
Seriously.
3 months ago
5 comments:
All i can say is LOL.
OMG. It sounds like that dummy text you receive in spam emails. You should report her to SGT MCCORMICK for spamming.
I'm just glad I don't live in her neighbourhood...I think. It's difficult to know for sure!
On second thought, could this be a case of 'wrong number'? As remote as the possibility is, has she confused your email address with that of someone who speaks her dialect? I speak gibberish but my thoughts aren't gibberish.
Bless her! She seems, um, very enthused? Totally agree with the ahh refurbishments though, why didn't someone think of it earlier?
No Bri, she copied me in along with a local radio station and our competition paper, so unless she thinks we all speak her dialect I'm pretty sure it was meant for me :)
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