Oh My God, Oh My God

Last night I witnessed a piece of music history.
With special thanks to Thom for bringing the concert to my attention, last night I saw Vanilla Ice. Live. In Perth.
And it was so, so bad that it was good.
First, let me clarify the reason why I paid to go see Vanilla Ice - tickets were $42. I've paid more to see Australian bands than $42 so I think to have the opportunity to say you saw "Ice, Ice Baby" performed live - well, I'm sure you understand.

The night started badly. We got there at about 8.30pm, thinking that being a Sunday, the show might run a little earlier. We were wrong.
As a result, we had to endure two painstaking hours of (and I'm not exaggerating) the worst DJs I had ever heard. Not only were the songs they were playing awful, but the mixing was so atrocious it hurt my ears. We set a cut-off time for 10.30pm - if Vanilla Ice wasn't on by then we were leaving. He came on at 10.40 - and I was soooo glad I waited that extra ten minutes.

This is what he looks like these days - gone are the college jackets and the wavy fringe.
These days, Vanilla Ice is hardcore.

The second he walked onstage I knew I was in for something bad. The set was Halloween-themed, and I have to say, watching Vanilla Ice sing about smoking marijuana was pretty fucking scary.

I won't say too much more other than to give you a few details about the show:

• He was onstage with a guy called DJ Dirty Chopstick.
• His drummer was called Clint Eastwood.
• He rapped in a gravelly, hardcore voice about, well, being hardcore.
• One of his songs contained the lyric "I get crazy like prozac."
• Another song contained the chorus "Oh My God, Oh My God."
• Another song contained the chorus "Do you wanna hit on my joint? Hell Yeah! Do you wanna hit on my bong? Hell Yeah!" (Repeat times four)
• He played Ice Ice Baby.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, made it all worth it.

I can now say I have seen Ice, Ice Baby performed live. Who would've thought?
Oh, and a special shout-out to the random couple I saw with my own eyes wearing - wait for it - matching white tracksuits.
Shudder.