I'm in some sort of pre-long weekend rut

...and I'm not enjoying it.
I'm meant to be pumping out the stories today, since it's a short week next week and I won't be there on deadline day, but at the same time we're waiting around for people to come down from head office and install this new system.
I feel like I'm in some kind of limbo.
Trying not to think about the weekend (but it's only 3 and a half hours to go!) and the fact that our new full time journo here seems to not know how to effectively a) send an email or b) write a story.
I have a sneaking suspicion he bluffed his way into the job... but I'll give him another week or two to settle in before I start making value judgements.
I don't expect anyone to comment on this rant, but I feel a little bit better now having had a whinge.

Ssh! Can you hear that?

*In an effected David Attenborough-style accent*

What we have up ahead is a rare species known as the long weekend.
They are seen less than once a month in office areas and often fill workers with senses of joy and euphoria.
Long weekends rarely go unnoticed, however they do have a tendency for sneaking up on people and the consequence is that workers who come into contact with long weekends often regret the fact that they have to catch up on a day's work the following week.
But for now, we will cherish its beauty.
Look at how it spreads its wings, owning the Monday and allowing office workers to have the day off.
It's a beautiful creature.

It ain't like it used to be...

I heard a fascinating story on the radio yesterday.
An Australian World War II pilot, we'll call him Jack for the purposes of the story, was shot down over Germany during the war.
He told about how he ejected from the plane and parachuted smack bang into enemy territory, where he was a POW for the last 2-3 years of the war.
Anyway, fat forward 60 years and the guy has actually found the radar man/navigator of the plane that shot him down!
Not only that, they've become friends and Jack is planning on travelling to Austria sometime this year or next year to have a catch-up!

Which got me thinking, my how some things change...
Don't get me wrong, I'm not glorifying war, but war these days is just not the same as a good old-fashioned World War.
In those days war was "fair" - you had frontlines and trenches and people fought, conquered, then moved forward.
I'll never forget watching a doco about Gallipoli in high school which really highlighted to me the absurdity of war.
There was a ceasefire during the fighting for 24 hours at one point, and both Turks and Allied Forces put their guns down so they could pick up the bodies of their fallen comrades.
Both sides swapped cigarettes, chatted, joked and laughed with each other before separating again getting back to business.

Gone are those days.
Gone are the days of trench fighting.
Gone are the days of chatting to your former enemies post-war and reminiscing about better times.

Today, we have a worldwide war that George Bush has waged on an abstract noun.
Good luck getting 'terrorism' to wave the white flag, George.

An open letter to my arch nemesis

Dear Deadline,

I hate you.
I hate everything you stand for.
Sure, the people I work with don't always help with our relationship, but your uncompromising, stubborn position on everything is really getting to me.
Why can't we just be friends? Why can't you change the days you pop up, just so that Wednesday isn't my most hated day of the week?
Someone told me once that relationships were all about compromise, but the way you treat me week in, week out, makes me think it's all one-way traffic.
I pander to your every need. I do everything I have to do when you tell me to do it.
And I've had enough.
If things don't change our relationship is over.
Perhaps you should think about this over the next week.
Call me when you're ready to talk.

Yours always,
Dave

The man is deluded

Just to add on to my earlier post about the Iranian president, I watched the news last night and saw the footage of him saying "In Iran, we do not have this phenomenon."
The entire audience burst into laughter, and he looked genuinely confused by their reaction.
He said something along the lines of "I'm not sure where you got the idea that we do..."

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to live in that sort of blissful ignorance.
I'm sure it's a happy place.

Facebook Whore

I've been whoring myself on Facebook all afternoon.
It's awesome when you stumble upon a name you haven't seen in ages, but that feeling of awesome-ness is overshadowed by a feeling of dirtiness.
Almost like I'm panhandling for friends.
Which I'm not - and I still reserve the right to ignore people I don't want to talk to.

Good call

Hearing news of the Iranian President's visit to the US, I was fascinated and slightly concerned to discover he'd been given a voice at Columbia University to speak to an audience.
What concerned me more however, was what came out of his mouth.
Apart from saying more research needed to be done on the Holocaust to find out who was to blame and why the Palestinian people are now paying for it, he claimed that homosexuality was not present in Iran.
Riiight...
He said: "In Iran we do not have this phenomenon."
Phenomenon??

But the call of the day has to go to the university President Lee Bollinger, who introduced the Iranian leader at his appearance.
He called him a "petty and cruel dictator" and said his Holocaust denials suggested he was either "brazenly provocative or astonishingly uneducated."
"I feel the weight of the modern civilized world yearning to express the revulsion at what you stand for," Mr Bollinger said.

How's that for free speech...?

Food for thought

I had to work on Sunday, to cover the launch of the ALP's campaign for Beazley's seat of Brand.
Now - as much as I keep it well clear of my writing, I have Labor in the blood.
My grandfather worked on the wharfs in Freo during the 50s. Enough said.
Yesterday was fantastic. Bob Hawke was there to 'endorse' the candidate, Gary Gray, and the old codger hasn't missed a beat.
He launched into a blistering attack on the wrongdoings of the Howard Government, as well as a salient reminder of what the union movement actually achieved for all Australians (such as annual leave, maternity leave, leave loading etc).
It's easy to brush aside the benefits of unionism in today's society, particularly when Howard insists on whipping-up anti-union histeria about them controlling the workplaces under ALP rule. Whatever.
But at the end of the day, a lot of the great working conditions that we enjoy at the moment were won by the unions over the years.
I don't see Howard and Costello bitching about conditions that allow them paid leave every year. It was the unions that got them those conditions in the first place.

Training for what, exactly?

I've just been informed I am to do a two-day news reporting course next week.
Now - I'm trying to keep an open mind about this - but isn't that what a three-year degree is for??
I know how to write news, I've been doing it for a few years now without a problem.
To be honest, I'm not against the idea of in-house training - in fact, I think it's a great thing in some circumstances.
But here's the clincher.
The first day of the two-day course is on my deadline day!! Not only that, but it's also in the middle of a short week because of the long weekend!! And not only that, but the journos picked to do it were chosen on "likely availability."
Um, hello?!
How is it "likely" that I would be "available" to give up a full day on deadline??
What's going on up there??

Too many Heroes, not enough hours in the day

I am SO excited.
My favourite TV series of all time arrived in a deluxe box-set yesterday, direct from the US.
That's right, Heroes. Season One.
Right in time for the start of Season Two on TV.
If you haven't cottoned onto what is one of the best drama/sci-fi/whatever TV shows ever to air, you still have a couple of weeks to get ready for the second season.
I highly recommend it.

Everything in its right place... sort of

Well I'm back at work and... loving it.
I don't know why, perhaps it was my bumper start to the day by actually exercising before i got here but I am glad to be back at work and using my brain again.
And it seems I have returned at a time of upheaval as far as employee movements go, anyway.
I'm excited that Kate, Bea and Mark have all found themselves new, exciting jobs to go to. I'm excited because I have worked with all three of them, and I know how well they will do in their new positions.
I also know that I will still see these guys around - Kate in particular, I'm sure - because that is the nature of Perth and its media industry.
I love it here for the moment. I am loving making my mark down here in an area that is mostly untouched by the West, regardless of the implications of working in 'Rocko.'
As always, my time away from home, as fun and exciting as it was, made me realise how lucky we are here in Perth.
Perth is awesome. My friends are awesome. And my job is awesome, even if the pay packet doesn't always reflect it... :)

Taxi Drivers - It takes all sorts...

We had a couple of interesting taxi drivers on our trip around the eastern states.
One who refused to accept a $50 note for a $6 fare - wtf? - and so insisted he put it through on my credit card instead! Whatever...
Then there was the one who picked us up from Hobart Airport and told us the Federal Police had a file on him. Mm-hmm.
Then there was the one who commiserated with us after a massive night in Oxford St during which my friend had his $400 Prada sunglasses stolen (I know, he shouldn't have taken them out with him in the first place but he came straight from work). This driver - his name was Sam - spoke with disgust about the state of society when someone can have a pair of sunglasses stolen from their bag. It wasn't until we got back to the hotel room the next morning we discovered they were in his bag after all and hadn't been stolen. Ahem.

But my favourite was the one that dropped us back to Hobart Airport after our stay in Tassie.
We were catching a 6am flight so, needless to say, we weren't really gearing for a good chat with the cabbie when we got in.
At one point, the conversation went something like this:

Cabbie: See up there, that's where the bridge collapsed.
Me: The bridge collapsed?? Jesus, when did this happen?
C: Oh, about 24, 25 years ago.
M: Right...
C: And over there, can you see that blue light on the hill?
M: Yep...
C: Just behind that is where Princess Mary used to live.

*I'd forgotten about Tasmania's claim to fame - the island's Danish Princess. How cute. However it was 5am, and I don't give a fuck about Princess Mary normally, so with lashings of irony and sarcasm I responded with-*

M: Really? Wow. 'Our' Mary...

At this point I expected the taxi driver to turn around and smack me on the side of the head for being a cheeky bastard. But no, he just nodded in agreement, a look of near-reverence in his eyes.

It takes all sorts.

Elbow Wars and Airport Goodbyes

As I have mentioned before, like Lindsay, I love airports.
I particularly enjoy the depth of emotion - be it happy or sad - that people show in their final goodbyes or warm welcomes.
I was boarding the flight back home and saw an elderly couple being waved off by a middle-aged couple.
The two men were obviously father and son. The women, teary-eyed, waved at each other as the elderly couple walked down the passageway.
Just as they were about to walk out of side, the old man turned around and gave a thumbs-up sign to his son.
It struck me as such an emotion-filled goodbye. The elderly couple were old enough for me to assume that there wouldn't be too many more trips to and from Perth and Melbourne.
Anyway, I digress. The old man ended up sitting next to me on the flight and insisted on taking up both armrests with his full arms, denying me a resting place for my elbow.
I didn't feel sorry for him anymore.
I was planning on sleeping but, without any room to move, wasn't sure it would happen.
So, in a calculated move, I waited until the man reached into his pocket for the safety instructions and quickly stole the arm rest, followed by a fake sleep that actually turned into a real one.
I won the elbow war that time.

Anyways, my holiday was absolutely fantastic.
I had a ball and basically went on an 11-day trip which involved much fine dining and wining, catching up with some very dear friends who had moved over east (ex-housemates, former work colleagues and the like) and some fantastic shopping in Sydney.
But, as is the case with all holidays, I was glad when it ended. There's something about going home, about surrounding yourself with things, places and people that are familiar to you, that can be comforting after spending time in foreign cities.
I have a raft of stories that I won't bore you with now, but suffice to say we holidayed (ahem, intentional grammar alert) in style.
And even though I would be pushed to find someone who reads this blog that would care, the Nine Inch Nails concert could not have been better.
They blew me away.
Now I'm off to enjoy my last two days before I hit the decks at Rockingham again.
Yay!

Time for a break

I never realised how much my fellow bloggers write on a weekly basis!
I just spent the last hour catching up on posts from the last two weeks - I was going to write about my holiday but that will have to wait till later on the morning - I need a coffee and a cigarette after that effort, regardless of how satisfying/amusing it was.

Quick update

Melbourne was fantastic, food and wine and coffee galore, and I'm in Hobart at the moment with some very dear friends enjoying thew views and fine establishments here.
Willl update you further when I get the chance, but I'm seeing Nine Inch Nails this weekend!!!

Did I mention that before...?

Signing off

I'm off. I'm on holiday. It won't sink in yet until I get to the airport. (Hear that Lindsay - the airport!)
I can't wait.
I don't expect to have any time to blog while I'm away but if the opportunity presents itself I will be sure to jump on and type up little excerpts from our adventures.
I am looking forward to catching up with some dear friends while we're over there and since I haven't had any time off this year, I think it is well-earned.
So have a good couple of weeks and I'll see you all around the traps!!
Goodbyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Memo to my editor

1. I am not a mind reader. I try, but I'm not. If you go away, and something is supposed to be done, and you don't tell me it's supposed to be done, and I have no knowledge that it even needs to be done, don't get pissed off at me.

2. No one cares about your whinging. Particularly not the new editor-in-chief, and particularly not me.

3. You're old. Retire.

4. Did I mention stop whinging? You're embarrassing yourself.

Make that 10 and a half

Okay, seriously struggling right now.
Deadline day.
I've done all my important leads and pic stories and am now down to putting together some of the fluff pieces we fill our sports pages with. Fucking Teakwondo competitions and senior weightlifters.
Luckily I was able to channel motivation for my leads but now that I'm down to the chaff I'm seriously struggling.
Not on holiday yet Dave.
Not on holiday yet.

In other news...

11 hours till my plane takes off.....

Grammar alert

I am slightly concerned with the use of redundant words these days - in the news, on tv, etc etc.
I'm specifically concerned with the creation of nouns from verbs which result in a word that could have been used far more effectively.
For example, I got a press release from the State Housing and Works Minister the other day talking about new housing designs.
In the release, the minister talks about how these houses can be built quickkly and "ready for occupancy within 2 to 3 days."
Occupancy?? Whats wrong with occupation??
People seem to think that they can create a word where there wasn't one before by adding a 'y' or something similar.
I blame university.
I'll never forget sitting through my communications and cultural studies units hearing words like "Australianness" - basically anything goes in a uni assignment if you add the suffix -ness onto the end of it.
I don't presume to have the answers, just thought I'd ask the question.
Any ideas?

Did I mention I'm seeing Nine Inch Nails in a week and a half?

Can you tell I'm excited? :)

Did I mention how cool Facebook is?

Another day, another friend request from someone I hadn't seen since I worked in my first job at the age of 15.
Oh, and I'm going on holiday in just over 24 hours. Life is good :)

In news this week

Vin Diesel is coming to Rockingham.
Yes, you read correctly.
The star of Fast and the Furious, Pitch Black and XXX will make an appearance at the Vibe Nightclub in Rockingham on September 22.
Apparently he's being paid $30,000 for the appearance - so at least he's got a decent excuse to be coming down this way.
That's not the main reason for this post.
The sales rep who is sorting it out waltzed into my office just then and asked me to do an editorial piece on it.
Which of course I would normally be happy to do, mainly because we are apparently getting exlusive editorial access and I will get a chance to interview Vin himself.
She could have left it at that, but no, as she walked away from my desk she chose her parting comment to be: "Make sure you do it or you won't get a ticket."

Excuse me??

Apart from the fact that that goes against every media ethics lesson I was ever taught, where does she get off telling me what to put in the paper.
I took the business card she handed to me, put it back on her desk and told her that I do not do editorial under duress/bribery/blackmail/whatever.

Later, she walked up to me, shoved the card at me again and said "Just do your job."

Now, I like Vin Diesel. I'd even consider going to this place if I was protected by a group of work friends who knew the area.

But telling a journalist they "have to" write an article is like telling an indie band they "have to" write pop songs - it just doesn't happen that way.
So I am writing nothing until said sales rep rethinks the way she speaks to me. And I've told her so.
Mark one down for Dave.

Don't forget...

Kyle Sandilands is on Enough Rope with Denton tonight at 9.30pm on the ABC.
According to news reports Denton goes for the jugular. I can't wait.

Feel free to hop off the merry-go-round when you've had enough...

I blogged a little while ago about a friend of mine who broke up with his girlfriend for the fifth time (in a year) and got back together with her. Again.
So I receive a call from this friend two weeks ago, saying they've broken up. Again.
He says it's for real this time. I believe him. I said to him:

"I'm a little hesitant to say anything since every time you break up and I say you're better off without her you get back together again."

Friend: Mm-hmm.

Me: But fuck it. You're better off without her. She has serious, deeply underlying mental problems that affect her individual life, let alone her relationships, and she's not a nice person.

Friend: I know.

So he seemed pretty happy. Hwe told me it was "for real" this time. I believed him.

Then he rang on Friday night. Just calling to say hello oh, and by the way, we're "sorting things out."

What the fuck is wrong with people??
This girl is not a nice person. She's not even good looking. She has deep, deep problems that I suspect can only be weeded out using intensive psychotherapy (and I'm not exaggerating or being melodramatic) and her refusal to communicate is what has led to every single one of the 6 - count em, 6 - break-ups they have had in the space of one year.

But fuck it. There's nothing I can do about it, other than to keep telling him every time they break up that he is better off without her. Maybe one day he'll listen.