Alanis Morrissette would have a fit

A promo for an upcoming news segment on Today Tonight:

"And coming up - Ben Cousins, the most scrutinised man in Australia. How media attention is hurting his chances of rehabilitation."

News story, about guy who is pursued relentlessly by news outlets, which is having a detrimental effect on his life.
Please, someone, anyone, tell me they see the irony...

Next time you're thinking about how difficult your life is...

Spare a thought for this guy.

He's known as Dede, and has an extreme form of human papilloma virus, which is essentially a wart virus.

However the growths have literally taken over his hands and feet, taking on the appearance of tree roots.

He's lost his wife, his job and any chance of making an income, however doctors from the US think they may be able to find a treatment and are working on it now.

Your day's not looking quite so bad now, is it?

What a weekend

I'm typing this from the Qantas Club in Townsville where I am enjoying the lap of luxury before I jump into my business flight seat from here to Brisbane.
Long story short - my weekend in North Queensland was marred by Qantas misplacing my baggage for 24 hours. But they've well and truly made up for that now.

But that's not the most important thing that's happened this weekend.
The most important thing is that John Howard got everything that was coming to him.
My faith is restored in the Australian people.
I am no longer embarrassed to be called Australian.
I am happier than I can ever remember being after an election.

This weekend, karma took a little bit back.
The swings and roundabouts kicked in.

I cannot relate how happy it makes me feel to see headlines such as "Rudd moves in on Work Choices" and "Liberal Party in turmoil."

So, where does that leave world politics at the moment - Blair's gone, Howard's gone, dare I hope that Bush may be the next to fall on his own neo-conservative sword?

Let's hope so :)

This is it

Australia decides tomorrow.
By Monday I will either be a very happy man or I will be distraught and inconsolable.
Let's hope it's the former.

Anyway, I'm off to pack my bags for the North Queensland tropics.
Adios!

I've performed my civic duty... kinda

As some of you may know, I'm going to be away for the election this weekend.
I've been chosen to fly to North Queensland to cover the Army Reserves buildup for the Solomon Islands for Community Newspapers.
It's quite exciting, and it's just me and a journo from the South Western Times who gets to go.

As a result of this, I had to vote early yesterday.
I made my vote count, but I felt a bit cheap when I handed in the ballot paper.

You see - I didn't know any of the candidates for my electorate in Fremantle.
I had a vague idea that the Labor candidate was a young woman who caused a bit of a kerfuffle when she was preselected because she didn't live in the area at the time.
But I couldn't tell you her name - and even after voting for her, I still can't.

Other than that, I had never seen the other names on the ballot paper before.
And not for lack of trying I might add - I had been reading the Fremantle Gazette and the Fremantle Herald in the weeks preceding the election to do just that - find out who my local candidates were.
But both papers were severely lacking.
The Gazette this week had one election story in it - one - and it was a small lead at the bottom of page 9 about the Labor candidate's concern regarding informal votes. The week before an election.
Now obviously that's an editorial choice but you'd think there would be a bit more of an attempt to inform the readers.
I was a bit disappointed.

Oh, and I voted the Socialist Party number 3 on the ballot just for kicks.
Gotta love Fremantle.

Un-be-liev-able

This website has been visited 2000 times since I put my dragon counter-thingy up. That's exciting and slightly appalling.
Considering I only get comments from a select group of people, who are the rest of you?
Feel free to leave a comment and I always appreciate criticism, whether it be constructive or not.
:)

Another Election Rant or Preaching to the Converted Part II

Can you feel that?
It's getting close.
It's an election.
Not only that, but it's an election that doesn't necessarily have a predetermined positive outcome for John Howard.

No politician has made me feel embarrassed for being Australian like John Howard has.
I was distraught after the 2001 election. I was even more distraught in 2004 - though we never really had a chance of winning that one, did we?

Now, I'm just nervous.
I'm nervous that the majority of Australians will not see through the bullshit that he and his cronies spout on a daily basis.
I'm nervous that people will believe the tripe he has been sprouting about the gloom and doom for Australia if Labor gets in.

As far as I see it, there are a few possible outcomes and consequences.

Outcome 1: Howard is re-elected, the Liberal Government is back in with its majority over both houses of Parliament. Unlikely, but then anything's possible.
Consequence 1: I start seriously considering which country I am going to migrate to.

Outcome 2: Howard is re-elected, but without his majority.
Consequence 2: I will be saddened but not completely distraught. Any Government needs checks and balances. That's what the senate was designed for, and that's what they have been stopped from doing. I will still ponder leaving the country.

Outcome 3: Rudd wins control of house of reps but does not have balance of power in the Senate.
Consequence 3: Australia wins. I will be proud to be Australian again. It will have been a long time coming, but I'll be there.

Outcome 4: Rudd wins with control of both houses.
Consequence 4: I will do a little dance for joy. Sure, no Government should have control of both houses but when it's a party interested in the good of the people, for the people, it's better than the alternative. Oh, and the victory will be sweet. So sweet.

I want to see that smug smile on Downer, Costello and Howard's collective faces wiped off comprehensively. They all deserve it.
I want to see justice served. I want karma to take a front seat again. Swings and roundabouts etc etc.

Is all that too much to ask?

What next? Rudd's the bogeyman?

According to today's West, John Howard is hell-bent on striking fear into the hearts of voters.
You see, according to Johnny, WA's extraordinary mining boom, which has seen record amounts of money come in and out of the State, will end under a Labor Government because Rudd will wind back Howard's unfair indutrial relations legislation.
I almost got pissed off at this, until I read Shane Wright's analysis of the story.
My favourite bit was this:

"A collapse in the global economy would end the mining boom. An outbreak of democracy in China or a revolt by the lower classes of India could do the same.
But Kevin Rudd and even a busload of the most militant union bosses in the world would struggle to end the boom that has propelled the WA and national economies for nearly four years."

Quite.

Yum

I had the most amazing dining experience this weekend.

Bertie's dad took the two of us, and her mum, out to dinner at Jacksons in Mt Lawley, to celebrate Bertie's graduation from uni (four years and three majors, not a bad effort really).



It was absolutely sublime.

Coming from someone who has worked in the hospitality industry for about six or seven years, there is no dining experience in Perth quite like it.

We had a seven course degustation dinner, with a different wine for each course.

Not only was the food and wine sublime, but the service was absolutely top notch.
I highly recommend chacking it out if you can - you might want to save up for it first though.
Our bill came to just under $1000 for the four of us.

Lucky for me, Bertie's Dad was paying. Nice.

It's Friday!

Fuck this I'm going home. Ciao!

How does it feel Barnaby?

My favourite National Party politician Barnaby Joyce was on the radio this morning.
But something's wrong - this time he sounded a little concerned.
He was concerned with the polls.
Apparently they've been bad for the conservative Government, and he's concerned the coalition is facing political annihilation.
He said there was frustration within conservative ranks about an apparent "wave of ambivalence" from the voting public.
Really? A wave of ambivalence?
Would that be the same wave of ambivalence that swept the coalition to power once or twice in the last few elections?
So how does it feel, Barnaby, now that that wave is drowning you?

But the bit that really got me, the bit that nearly made me downright angry, was when he said there was a possibility the Labor Government could be elected with a majority in both houses, causing the Australian people to have a Government without checks and balances.

Um, hello??!!
What exactly do we have right now??
How can you possibly argue that it's okay for a conservative Government to have the balance of power but not a Labor Government??
Part of me hopes this does happen.
What goes around comes around, my friend.

How can you not love a place that looks like this?

Lately, I've been a bit Japan-sick.

It's strange, because it's kind of like being home sick, save for the fairly obvious fact that I have only spent 2 and a half weeks of my life in Japan.

I think some of it may have to do with the fact that it was my first overseas trip - the first time I'd ventured outside our borders with a passport - but I really, really loved the place.

It's magical.

It manages to get this balance between everything the Western, corporate, capitalist world holds dear without compromising the Japanese traditions that are thousands of years old.

The weather was brisk and cool yet perfect, we didn't need to know a word of Japanese other than 'thank you' and 'excuse me' and we just had the most amazing time.

Part of me wants to move to Japan - I guess it's the allure of being in a totally foreign country, yet one which is completely accessible to almost everybody.

But part of me thinks I would be pretty lonely there.

Indeed, after only two and a half weeks I was craving a hearty Western meal and some English-speaking friends.

Maybe one day.

Edie Sedgwick had nothing on these guys

The Muse concert that I saw on Saturday was a genuine contender for the best I'd ever seen.

It was huge. It was spectacular. It was extremely pompous - but then they do that with style.

You know when you go to those concerts and you know every song that's played?
You know when you get those little shivers at certain moments in certain songs?
You know when you walk away from a gig knowing you've just witnessed something special?
It was all of that and more.
I'll stop gushing now. Thanks for listening.

I've just about had enough of this!

So John Howard says sorry yesterday for the interest rate rise.
Today, he tells us that saying sorry is not an apology.
Um, what??
How does that work, exactly?
Can someone, somewhere PLEASE EXPLAIN why this man continues to get away with this shit??

A bit of self-deprecation never hurt anybody

I am an idiot.
Seriously.
Apart from the fact that yesterday I discovered that leaving my brakes to be fixed for another week potentially added $200 onto the bill at the mechanics, I have lacerated my right hand. By being an idiot.
I went around my parents' house last night to farewell my younger brother, who takes off for London today.
He convinced me to play one final game of soccer on Xbox with him before I left.
It was a tight game.
No goals were scored in the first half and, it wasn't until the 68th minute that I turned in front of goal and passed to one of my players, who outmanouvered the keeper and slotted the ball into the back of the net.
GOAL! I screamed, jumping off the bed with my hands held high in the air - only to shatter the glass light fixture in my brother's bedroom.
My mum, who is a nurse, decided that I would need stitches on the knuckle of my right ring finger.
I went to Royal Perth Hospital, where I waited for two hours to be told I didn't really need stitches, but they glued it for me to aid in the healing process.
I also managed to slash the palm of my hand.
As a result, I can currently only do things with one hand - and let me tell you, cooking meals and ironing clothes is extremely difficult with only one hand.
My dignity suffered a little too, but I'm at work today and, I guess, that's what counts.

Adventures in Rockingham Part V

Rockingham Police charged a 20-year-old woman last night with unlawful wounding.
She allegedly stabbed her mother's boyfriend, who - wait for it - is also 20-years-old.
He had to undergo surgery but is in a stable condition after having 25 stitches inserted.

No wonder the police call it 'Nam down here...

Overheard in a bar...

Drunk guy hugging girl: I love you... but I love your sister more.

Adventures in Rockingham Part IV

I received an email from one of my co-workers today. It was a joke about a farm hand who got a pig stuck in his four-wheel drive.
The joke started off as such:

A farm hand (an Aboriginal) rings his boss...

That's right, it had "an Aboriginal" in brackets. I read the rest of the joke and the fact that the protagonist was Aboriginal had absolutely no bearing on the joke whatsoever.
I sent out a reply saying:

"I'm glad that joke clarified that he was "an Aboriginal." It was, after all, a VERY integral part to the story..."

-After a couple of minutes, she replied with:

"Well it could have been an Asian or a muslim or perhaps some other immigrant otherwise!"

-I sat stunned for a moment. So I responded, asking "Why?"

-It then took half an hour for her to respond to that one. In the end, she came up with:

"Why not?"

-At this point I realised I was fighting a losing battle. I responded once more:

"This conversation's going nowhere fast. You get my point right?"

-Her response:

"your right .....this conversation is going nowhere fast!"



Sometimes, you just can't win.

Where's Benny?

In the interests of keeping the media circus going (because we all know we haven't been force fed enough Ben Cousins news lately) I thought I'd direct you to celebrity gossip website Perez Hilton, which has blogged about the coked-up, smirking little shit. In particular I'd like to point you to the comments below the article, which range from funny to peculiar to downright weird. It's scary what people can get away with on the internet.

We should be concerned

A speech by former Chief Justice Sir Gerard Brennan yesterday caught my attention for all the right reasons.
He spoke about two main issues that have always irked me - the death penalty and the rule of law in the context of the current terror laws.
He criticised both sides of Parliament for their stance on capital punishment in overseas countries - how can people campaign to free Australian citizens from the death penalty yet say it's okay for the Bali Bombers to die?
Yes it's a contentious issue, and Labor's foreign affairs spokesman nearly suffered for speaking his mind about the issue recently. And yes the two cases are very different in terms of the crimes committed.
But he's right.
You can't have it both ways - if Australian citizens do not deserve to die, then no one else does either. You're either against capital punishment or you're for it. Both parties need to stop pandering to how they think the masses will react.

Another point Sir Brennan raised was that of the anti-terror laws and the powers that Federal authorities now have to hold people without charge.
He likened it to that famous quote from Nazi Germany:

"They came first for the communists, and I didn't speak up, because I wasn't a communist.
"Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up, because I wasn't a Jew.
"Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. "Then they came for the Catholics and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.
"Then they came for me, and by that time, no-one was left to speak up."

The man has a point.